The Wait For Deliverance

Today we sent in our postponement contract and are now officially waiting for Guatemala to reopen. I'm grateful for the peace I have from the Lord. Grateful also, that through a listserve group from our agency, we have 9 other waiting families to pass the time with through email and blogging. God is good!

Recently I was reading in the book of Exodus (during my Lenten time of "fasting" from Seinfeld) and a portion of the story really spoke to me. The Israelites have been released by Pharoah, but now the Egyptians are pursuing them. In their maturity, and their discerning ability to see the big picture (just kidding), they start questioning Moses. They wonder why he brought them to the desert to die, and they lament leaving Egypt, and so on. In chapter 14, verses 13-14, Moses answered them,

"Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still."

I think this spoke to me so much because at this point in our adoption, we are powerless to do anything. It's so nice to know that we need only be still, that the Lord will fight for us. As we "be still and know that He is God", we need to stand firm in our faith, stand firm in our call. He brought us to this place, and I firmly believe, like He did for the Israelites, that He will part the waters and make a way in order for us to go where He wants us. I'm excited to see the deliverance the Lord has planned for us. It won't be as dramatic as parting the sea, but it will be miraculous none-the-less. I pray we will keep our focus, not be distracted or worried by the "Egyptians" around us, not regret coming to this place He called us to, but that instead we will be full of hope and anticipation for the place He is taking us. I want to joyfully embrace this choice to wait for deliverance, and be blown away when God stretches out His hand.

Frosting On This Cupcake Called Life

I continue to be amazed by the graciousness and lavishness of my God's love. At our church today we watched a video, which basically helped drive home the powerful point that our God is HUGE and we are small. But the best part is that even though He's soooooo big, He cares intimately about us. It's unbelievable that the God of the universe cares so much for me. What's even more amazing, beyond all that He's already done, is that He will do precious, priceless things for us, just because He loves us. This happened to me on Saturday when I was at a prophetic workshop at church (which is a while other discussion for another time). Anyway, there was an activity at the workshop where each person drew two numbers - one representing them and one respresenting someone else in the room. We were to pray and listen for God to give us a prophetic word for the other person, not knowing who they were. When we were finished, we found out who had the number and gave them the paper with the words God had given us. So, I look at my paper, and everything on it is so beautiful and enouraging - precious words from my precious Lord. I felt so loved by Him! But, the last thing on the paper was the best of all. We've been preparing to sign the postponement contract for our adoption, and continuing to seek God and His assurances that we are doing what we should. It is such a leap of faith, and it could possibly end with us not getting a Guatemalan baby girl. When I got to the last sentence of my paper, my word from the Lord, it said, "Dwell on what you don't see." My heart just melted. So much love in those words, so much compassion. My God, who has already suffered and died for my sins, healed me in numerous ways, and blessed me far beyond what I deserve, decided, out of His goodness and love, to speak these precious words to me. I was so grateful, and continue to be grateful. This, my friends,is part of the frosting on my cupcake called life. God's sweetness poured over God's goodness - "taste and see that the Lord is good..."

The Juice

So there's all this talk in the media about athletes being on "the juice". Steriods appear to be a rampant problem. I for one have much respect for hard work and sacrifice.

But the other day, I was thinking about how I want "The Juice". Not steriods, but Spirit. I was considering how there is fruit of God's Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I want this fruit, and I want His "juice" to flow through me. I want to get strength and energy from His vine, I want to "bulk up" on God and His Spirit. To get the juice, I need to be connected to the Source, a branch attached to the true vine. So, I plan to make sure I'm in the right place and then I'm going to STAY THERE, so I can be juiced up on Jesus!

A More Relevant Blog

As much as I know you find my blog to be interesting, insightful, and delightful (wow, I'm working it here), check out this blog for Buckner International . The blog is for people taking mission trips through their organization, which includes an adoption agency. I found this blog because it was on the blogger site's Blogs of Note list. Anyway, the recent blog posts feature Geoff Moore and Susan Grey, two Christian music artists. Reading the stories of what they are seeing in Guatemala, and especially the recent posts about Honduras, simply break my heart. Imagine how God's heart must feel!

Happy Valentine's Day

Much love to you all this Valentine's Day. It's always extra special here because Ryan and I got engaged on Valentine's Day. So, 12 years ago God gave me the gift of Ryan, a gift that will keep on giving until the end of time. What always amazes me when I receive gifts like this from God is that he doesn't have to do it. He's already given way more than He had to, way more than I deserve. So, these bonuses in life are especially sweet. I am aware, however, that this day can be puke-inducing for some - I was one of you once. All I can say is that our media and our society is full of images that depict love in a way that just isn't real. I see a commerical, or a tv show, and I'm like, "that's love?" What is love anyway? How can we know what love is?

God's word gives us great guidance in this.

1 John 2:16-18 - "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

Jesus deserves so much glory and honor for the great love He showed for us when He laid down His life. I desire to serve Him in such a way that my love for Him has hands and feet, it has movement and action,and it is firmly founded in truth.

My Favorite Things - Vol. 2 - American Idol

It's that time of year again. American Idol is back in full swing, and it's finally to the portion of the show where I start watching. I'm not into the early audition episodes, so I only catch bits and pieces of it. I really start watching when you can start voting, although I watched the Hollywood episode last night, while flipping over to catch The Biggest Loser, another one of my favorite things. The only problem with The Biggest Loser is that I can't stop snacking while it is on! It's like watching these people work out and deprive themselves of food is more than I can bear and the next thing I know I'm at the pantry looking for something to eat. I could probably use some help with that, but I digress...

This is suppposed to be an American Idol post, so I'll get back on the topic. I've watched American Idol since the top 10 of the first season (which I've watched reruns of on American Idol Rewind and man, are some of them just HORRIBLE singers!). My favorite season continues to be season 2, with Reuben, Clay, and Kimberly. They were all excellent singers. I'd like to pretend the Fantasia season didn't happen - I'm NOT a fan. And, as much as I enjoy Carrie Underwood now, I was always sad for Bo Bice, who was one of my favorites. It's a shame Bo's loss didn't net him the career that Chris Daughtry's loss got him.

I liked some of the changes to Hollywood week, especially the exclusion of the group sing portion. It was always a lot of fighting and whining, which, although it can be entertaining, would just become annoying. That said, no one should be allowed to play the drums and sing, especially a Tom Jones song. I'm not sure the instruments really added anything - they didn't show too many people who were successful with it. The homeless kid is getting on my nerves, and I don't think the Janis Joplin/rocker nurse is going to make it too far. My favorite of who they showed (that I saw) was one of the first guys - the one who sang "Love the One You're With".

So, what did you think? Any favorites? Who are your favorite idols from the past? What would be your audition song? Mine would be DankaShane (sp?).

Random Monday Thoughts Vol.2

I think on Mondays I'm incapable of pulling multiple ideas together to form one coherent post, so I'm copping out by once again just listing some things at random.

My first random thought is that my kids have the flu. I think we're on the flip side of it now, and I think we escaped the really nasty symptoms that many people are enduring. We've mostly had high fevers, sore throats, headaches, and tummy aches. Madison and Michael both had fevers nearly 105 degrees. Madison said to me, "I have a question, but I don't want to upset you. Am I dying?" That folks, is a fever.

My other random thought is really just a question with no answer: Why do we live in this ridiculous climate?

Last Thursday afternoon, I took Madison and Michael to the Northern Indiana Center for History in South Bend. It was my first time there, and it was much nicer than I expected. We spent most of the time in an exhibit called "Voyages", learning about the indians who lived in the St. Joseph Valley and how the area was established. The musuem is connected to the new Studebaker Museum, which I'd like to visit sometime.

For a while now I've been mulling over a concept I'll call "Life Words." I was introduced to this whole idea over 2 years ago by a husband and wife team that came to our church and spoke at a Spiritual Renewal weekend. To sum it up, it's the idea of putting God's truth, His "Life Words", into your heart and mind. So many things around us speak death - there's divorce, addiction, disease, disaster - it can be a discouraging to live in this world! But God's word has so much power and life in it, we can combat the death this world speaks into our lives. I want to be more aware of my words and make sure that whenever I have the opportunity, I speak words of life into the lives of those around me.

Finally, here's a link to my new favorite worship song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0F109Acx14
You'll have to cut and paste the link.

Ash Wednesday

My thoughts for Ash Wednesday really started on Monday night. I attend a small intercessory prayer group at church, and this Monday night it was just one other wonderful lady and me. Before she came, I was led to read 2 Timothy chapter 3, and as always, it brought fresh, rich lessons to me. I won't put the whole text here, if you find a few minutes today, give it a read. Anyway, 2 things distinctly stood out to me:

1. Vs. 5 - "...having a form of godliness but denying its power."
2. Vs. 14 - "continue in what you've learned and have become convinced of..."

I can tell you this right now: I never want to have just a form of godliness. I want God! I want true godliness, fruit of a life connected to God. I picture a candy mold, where you would pour melted chocolate in to make bunnies or flowers. I don't want to just be the "form", the empty mold, so to speak. I want FULLNESS, DEPTH, actual 3 dimensional shape. I don't want an empty, shallow existence with God, I want Him to form me and fill me. I also do not want to "deny its power". I want to be full of God's presence AND His power, and to be ready for what that power can do. I want to welcome that power, knowing that His power often comes when we are submitted and surrendered to Him. And here's a good question: Why would anyone want to serve a powerless god? We need to embrace the power of God, not fear it, or deny it.

The second point that really struck me was "what you've learned and have become convinced of...". One dictionary definition I found of convinced said, "to bring by argument to belief, consent, or course of action." The question is: How convinced am I? Have I learned enough and been convinced enough to take certain courses of action? How many believers do you know who have learned much, but are not convinced? When you are convinced, you develop a conviction, and I believe it is our convictions that bring us through our persecutions. That is why some, when times get tough, turn their backs on God, because they were never fully convinced. I want strong conviction. I want to continue to learn more so that I can become convinced of more, and so that my convictions can be strengthened. This supports something the Lord led me to weeks ago, that I need to be spending more time in His word. There is so much strength and power in His truth. Verse 16 of chapter 3 says: "All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." I want to be thoroughly equipped to serve Him, so that I can give Him everything I have, because He gave me everything I didn't deserve, and nothing I did deserve.

So, this is adds to the motivation for starting my "power hour" this Lenten season. Jesus deserves so much glory, honor, and praise, more than I feel capable of giving. So, what I can give, I will, with love and gratitude.

Random Monday Thoughts

So, I have a variety of thoughts I decided to just throw out there tonight. First of all, I was incredibly pleased with the outcome of the Super Bowl last night. I did end up scrapbooking after the game because I was so pumped up and couldn't possibly go to sleep. During the half-time show, I was reminded of the time Ryan and I were playing a trivia game and there was a question about necks on a guitar and we came to realize it was possible to have FIVE, which just seems excessive (see the above picture). Remembering this brought fresh laughter and a renewed question of "why?".

On a completely different topic, I was going to start a "fast" of sorts tonight, but then I realized that this Wednesday is Ash Wednesday, so why not wait and make it what I give up for Lent. Thus, starting Wednesday, until Easter, I will no longer watch Seinfeld from 10:00 - 11:00 every night. Instead, I will read my Bible and pray. I hope this will become a habit, my new "power hour" of sorts. It seems the least I can give up to honor the One who gave up so much for me.

So, were you plannning on giving something up, or starting something new, during Lent? Why would a guitar ever need five necks? What does the case look like? This is only a portion of the random thoughts racing through my mind tonight.

Super Sunday

As I'm sitting here waiting for the Super Bowl to start, I'm reminded of last year when we watched my current team of choice, The Colts, win the championship. We watched from the comfort of our hotel room at Walt Disney World. Actually, we watched the beginning of it at the Rainforest Cafe while we ate dinner, and then finished the game back at the hotel. I can't believe it's been a year since we made that trip, yet it feels like a long time since we were there. Anyway, tonight I watch from the comfort of my own home, and pray that the Giants can pull off a miracle and beat the Patriots, whom I have no love for whatsoever. So, I'm off to get some snacks, and then I'll probably get out my scrapbooking stuff, since I can hardly bear to watch the Patriots. My hope: Giants 28 Patriots 24. My prediction: Giants 17 Patriots 31

My Favorite Things - Vol. 1 - Lost Season 4

So, Ryan and I have watched the TV show "Lost" from the very first episode. We were hooked from the start. I have been known to listen to podcasts online featuring information from the writers/producers, as well as read message boards for theories. But, I have never posted a frame by frame analysis of what Mr. Eko saw in the black smoke monster, though I was grateful someone else did. "Lost" was the reason we bought a new VCR, since we had lost the remote to our old one and thus could not program the new ABC channel into it and had no way of recording the show (it is a "watch after the kids' bedtime" show). Anyway, the show has had it's highs (Hello, they took Walt off the raft!) and lows (what was up with the Jack's tatoos episode?) and we have hung in there. Even through the death of my favorite character, (I don't want to spoil past seasons too much, so HE will remain nameless), we have persevered. Well, I must say, that perserverance paid off last night. WOW! The new season premiere blew me away, and resurrected those feelings of seasons past when my mind races after it's over and I have trouble falling asleep. It was so intense at times, I felt like maybe I shouldn't watch. So many questions, I can't take it! So many questions, yet I want more! Let's hope the writer's strike gets settled soon so we can have more than 8 episodes this season, and won't have to watch shows like "My Dad can beat Your Dad."

Here's the web address for the entertainment weekly recap/analysis of last night's episode. You'll have to copy and paste, since I still can't get the blog to post links.

http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20036782_20037403_20175395,00.html