Recently someone asked me how I was doing (in relation to our adoption), and when I said "I'm doing great", this person seemed surprised. So, I thought I would write about something that happened that brought me tremendous peace concerning our adoption.
It was probably early in December, and I had a dream. In the dream, our family was in the van, and I was driving, and we were going up a very steep highway. It was winter, and the road was basically a sheet of ice. As we were headed up this steep road, an animal, with the head of a moose and the body of a mastodon came out of the woods on the opposite side of the road, about 50 yards away (is anyone still reading?). So, the animal is like lumbering out into the road, and traffic is stopped, and the road is so icy that this thing slips and falls to the ground, knocking itself unconscious. It's body then begins to slide down the slope of the road, and it is headed for our van. It continues to slide and knocks our van over the drop-off on the side of the road. Our van rolled, but when we came to a stop, we were all okay. Next, we have made it back to the road, and our van is on the road and all the traffic is stopped. At that point I realize that my mom was a couple of cars in front of us when the accident happened. She is coming back to check on us, and when she sees us all standing on the road, she sinks to the pavement, sobbing uncontrollably. When I see her do this, I get very angry. I am mad that she is crying, when she can see that we are all perfectly fine.
Okay, that was the dream (at least part of it anyway). So, I wake up in the morning, and I go into the bathroom and I'm thinking about this dream, and I'm like, what was up with that? Why was I so mad at my mom for reacting like that?
Then, God spoke to me, and this is what He said: "Why would you mourn for something you haven't lost?"
That's when I realized I had been doing that about our baby girl. I was mourning like I had lost her. I had taken the news about the adoption delay in such a way as if it was over, even though I knew it wasn't, but that was how I was responding. (Just like in the dream, mom knows we're okay, but she responds to what could have happened.) God didn't tell me my baby girl was lost, and until He does, she isn't. She's just delayed in coming, fashionably late. Taking after her mother already!
This dream, and God's words to me about it, were a defining moment for me. I'm thankful for the encouragement God brought to me and the creative way He did it.
6 comments:
Seriously, you should write a book. And sign my copy!
Only if you promise that every time you see it on a bargain book rack somewhere that you will take it to the counter and throw a screaming fit about what a travesty it is to put a masterpiece on the bargain pile! Once Ryan and I went to hear Jerry Jenkins speak (the man who co-authored the Left Behind series), and he said that he had friends who helped keep him humble by sending him pictures of his books with 75% off stickers on them, or on the bargain table. So funny!
Hey Dawn,
Just wanted to let you know that I've been reading your blog. I think every family should have a blog! What a great way to keep in touch. Keep writing. It's a pleasure to read your hopes and prayers. See you soon!
Arin
Thanks, Arin!
It was truly refreshing to read about your dream! At first, I was wondering where you were going with it, and then I ended up receiving the powerful message God portrayed in it. My husband and I are adopting from Vietnam and we don't know how things are going to go if the US and Vietnam don't re-sign their agreement. We are still working on our dossier but I feel so discouraged sometimes. I'm impatient by nature, and this process is really teaching me to have FAITH and to rely on Him for everything. Sometimes it's hard for me to be "okay" when I can't control things. I'm learning though. What a journey this is! I love your blog!
Thanks! Are you adopting through AGCI?
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