Random Thoughts Vol. 16

Yes, I do remember that I have a blog. To be honest, my blog is probably suffering due to my Facebook addiction. See, my blog requires that I form thoughts and then type them - Facebook has no such expectation of me. Plus Facebook allows me to almost daily chat with Jenny Harville. To my blog I can only say, "what have you done for me lately?" That was too harsh, sorry Blog!

Here are some random thoughts, no particular order. I'll say our family is still basking in the goodness of God concerning the contract extension for our adoption. I'm looking forward to the holidays now where as before I would say I wasn't so much. Can you believe only 36 more days until Christmas? Facebook told me that.

I don't have a whole lot to say about the election. I did not vote for the newly elected president, but I will pray for him. My sense about our country on a whole in a variety of ways is that the church needs to step up to the plate and start living this Christian life for real. It's the best way to show Christ to those around us. I'm challenged to think that I may be the only contact some people have with Jesus. So, I need to KNOW Jesus more and SHOW Jesus more!

Our daily lives are a smattering of running Max to preschool, homeschooling, music lessons, church, and then all the mundane things like groceries, laundry, and housecleaning. Probably why this random thoughts is as dull as it is.

This Sunday we will celebrate Thanksgiving with Ryan's family. On the actual day we will be at my mom's with some of my family. Who knows who will be there for sure? Thanksgiving, for reasons I won't go into, is not my favorite holiday. But Planes, Trains, and Automobiles is my favorite Thanksgiving movie. In spite of my lack of enthusiasm for the holiday, I, however, will say that I have much for which to be thankful, more than I could probably even list. God is good and extravagant!

Today I got a laugh when I saw this video on entertainment weekly's blog. Some day when the kids are gone from home Ryan and I will drive around and do this. Enjoy! Oh, and have a blessed Thanksgiving! Gobble, Gobble!

My God is Super Terrific Fabulous

God in his incredible goodness has done something fabulous and wonderful for me. Actually not just for me, but I feel special and loved just the same! We got an email from our adoption agency today that said the board has decided to extend the postponement contract until November 1, 2009. This is so awesome, because now instead of having only 3 months for Guatemala to have something in place, we know have a year. Praise God! This is a HUGE answer to prayer, and a reminder of how good and faithful He is! Thanks to all who have been praying with us, it is working!!!

I've Been Tagged

My friend, Rose, tagged my on her blog, meaning now you get more pointless trivia about me and my life.

8 things that happened yesterday:
1. I went to a crop with my friends.
2. I ate more junk food than I have in weeks.
3. Our kids watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time.
4. I got my family scrapbook caught up.
5. I got to chat for a long time on Facebook with Jenny Harville.
6. I paid the balance due on my scrapbooking weekend in January.
7. I laughed at the Tom Brokaw imitation on the SNL special.
8. I downloaded more music to my MP3 player.

8 favorite places to eat:
1. Logan's
2. Texas Roadhouse
3. Hacienda
4. Culver's
5. Doc Pierce's
6. the Chinese buffet by our house, I have no idea of the name.
7. Sonic (I went for the first time this week!)
8. Chili's

8 TV shows I love (like) to watch:
1. Lost
2. Amazing Race
3. Survivor
4. American Idol
5. The Office
6. Heroes
7. Biggest Loser
8. Seinfeld/Frasier reruns

8 things I am looking forward to:
1. God doing a miracle in our adoption.
2. Eating junk food and watching the super bowl (yes, I know it's a long way off)
3. The crop in January.
4. Working on my scrapbooks again, like later tonight.
5. Getting away with my family to somewhere (I should plan that...)
6. The next baseball season.
7. Reading THE SHACK.
8. Seeing what God has planned...he's so much better at plans than I am.

8 things on my wish list:
1. A baby girl in my home
2. A two week vacation with Ryan and the kids.
3. For it to be discovered that Coke has weight reducing properties, so drink up!
4. 12 hours alone at a prayer retreat center.
5. A housekeeper like Alice on the Brady Bunch.
6. A $500 gift card to Target or Kohl's - that would just be fun.
7. The ability to fly-or run super fast.
8. My kids to be as happy every day of their lives as they are today.

I won't tag anyone, just feel free to post your own thoughts in the comments.

Glimmers

Wow, I can't believe how long it's been since I posted! So much happens so fast sometimes. The last time I posted was after my 3 day whale belly fast. Well, I went on another trip to the whale belly the week following that one. I wish I could describe what it's like when I go there. I seem just more AWARE. I'm not going through life on auto-pilot, I'm thinking more about what I do, what I say, what I believe, etc. And I'm much more teachable. The second time I went in the whale belly, I fasted not just from food, but from media - tv and computer mostly. I should do such things much more often. The purpose of the fast was to learn what it means to REMAIN IN HIM. I spent a lot of time in John 15, reading about being a branch connected to the vine, and about how remaining in him is about love. Loving him and loving others. And loving others in the same way that he has loved me.

The third and final night of the fast, I was bored (Ryan was gone)and I didn't think I had it in me to read anymore (I love reading, and I was reading a great book by John Wimber, but my brain needed a break!) So, I watched a video a friend loaned me. It was a documentary, made by a man who was curious as to why God does supernatural things. He went to all these different places where the Lord had been moving in supernatural ways and recorded and observed things. At the end, he essentially comes to the conclusion that God does these things out of his love.

There is that word again. In my journal that night, I asked, "Papa, is it really that simple? Is it really all about love?" He said to me, "My love isn't simple, but my command is. It really comes down to that one thing." Then he said to me, "Dawn, I have loved you with an everlasting love. Do you hear the words I say?" I told him yes.

But you know what? I DIDN'T really hear the words he said. I realized this four days later when praying with a friend at church. See, I thought everlasting was in regard to TIME - like lasting forever in a sense it never stops. But while praying for something else, a light bulb came on, and I realized that God was telling me it was everlasting in regard to QUANTITY - like a supply that never gives out (this understanding came after a reference to the feeding of the 5000). God was telling me, he has loved me with an everlasting love - a love where the supply never runs out, there is always enough. That's the love he gives me and wants me to give to others. As I'm attached to the vine of his love, I have an endless supply to give away to others. So I need to get giving it!

The day after I figured all of this out, a new email came from our adoption agency. It had in it a glimmer of hope. To some it up, the idea in the previous email was you CAN wait out the postponement, but nothing will probably change by then. The new email said you MAY want to wait out the postponement and see if there are changes. It may not seem like much, but it's a glimmer. A glimmer that a couple of weeks ago wasn't there, but God asked me to have the faith for it. When I read the email, I smiled with God. I believe he's going to do it - and when he does, I'll be so thankful that I was with him and trusting him the whole time, even when it looked impossible. I guess that's what faith is.

Gut Reactions

Well, I spent three days in the belly of the great fish, and I've now been urped onto the shore. My circumstances haven't changed, in fact, by earthly perspectives they may have even deteriorated, but I'm not going there. My prayer perspective has changed, and that is good.

The biggest change has been in my perspective of to whom I am praying. At times in our adoption process, I have literally BEGGED and pleaded for God to do something. I was doing this earlier this week. During my fast, God revealed to me that when I was begging, I was approaching him like a distant king, one who does not really know what his subjects are going through, or necessarily cares. It was like I was groveling for mercy at the feet of one who could care less what happens to me. This is what I was doing, this was the God I was praying to in certain moments. God told me, "Why don't you talk to me like I'm your friend who has influence and ability to help you in your need? Stop begging me like I don't care, and talk to me like you would a friend who can help you."

That's not all he had to say about this approach. He also told me, "Come crawl on your father's lap and tell me what you want." My relationship with God has always been based on him being my father. I have fully embraced that type of relationship with him. But I realized that I often hold back telling him things I want, because I don't really have the faith that he's willing to give what I ask. He said to me, "Come here and tell me exactly what you want, because it could be that I want to give you what you ask for, and I can't give it if you don't ask." The feeling was like a Christmas list - I want to give you exactly what you want because I love you, so tell me what you want.

So I told him. Everything. I specifically asked for the whole kit and kaboodle. I prayed for perfection. No holds barred. I told my influential friend, my loving father who wants to give, I told him everything. I made every request. I even complained. And argued. And questioned. And pleaded - to my close friend, not a distant king. And I cried. And I expressed every concern, confusion, frustration, and disappointment I thought of, and I laid it all on the line. And I continue to hear my friend and father ask me, "Will you wait here with me? Will you be here with me? Even when it seems impossible, will you remain in my hope, trust in my goodness, believe in my power? Will you stay?"

Even as I type this I'm hearing the verses, "if you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be given you." (John 15:7) See, I think he's calling me to be a true fan, not a bandwagon believer. As a Cubs fan, I've experienced heartbreak and frustration, but I'm always faithful to cheer for them above all others. There is no other team for me. It drives me crazy when these bandwagon Cubs fans come out of the woodwork during their good years, and bash them in the off years. How much can those fans possibly mean to the team? I guarantee not even remotely as much as the faithful who have stood through the dry spells and the disappointment.

He wants me to remain, to trust, to hope, to dream, to believe in his goodness, to be his fan above all others, whether it feels, looks, or sounds good or not. And you know, at the end of this week, after my fast was over, sitting on the bathroom floor in our bedroom, after crying and praying for about an hour, I realized something - I'm there.

As hard as it is to do, and as ridiculous as it might seem, I'm choosing to believe that he will do this miracle. Nothing on this earth right now tells me to do this. In fact, this earth does nothing but speak death to this place. But Jesus is life, not death. His kingdom is not of this world. His ways are higher than my ways. He is hope for the hopeless. And he tells me, why not try this out? Why not ask me for a miracle and then stick around to see if I do it?

The challenge is overcoming my flesh. My fleshly brain has trouble wrapping my head around the miraculous. But Jesus is my friend and he understands this (he himself came here and used a fleshly brain). So he's going to help me. The other challenge is overcoming my pride. I don't like to fail and I don't like to look foolish. I'm afraid to say "God's going to do a miracle" because what if he doesn't. Well, to say the least, I just have to get over that fear and that pride. I have to give it over to Jesus, because how can he do miraculous things for those who have too much fear and pride to ask for them?

So, here's hoping for a miracle. From where I sit right now, God has until February 1, 2009, to change everything (eta - this is the date our postponement contract expires). I'm believing and mostly REALLY REALLY hoping, he will do it (I have NO DOUBT he is able!). In all this I know that on February 2, 2009, I could end up devasted, flat on my face, and grieving. But so what? I may look like a fool, but I'll be a fool for Christ, and that I will count as a privilege. There will be no regrets, only resolve. Resolve to believe that he is still good, he is still loving, and he is still for us. Resolve to continue following him to the sweet end. Resolve to continue asking for miracles and to still believe he will answer prayer.

I will remain. With no regrets. Only resolve.

Looking For Life

I'm looking for life today. I'm looking for life in our adoption. I'm looking for God's life, God's power, God's ability to resurrect the dead, to breathe life into the lifeless. As we wait out this situation, God speaks to me. I love the things he says. He's been very gracious and kind to me and taught me so much during this whole process. The problem is, what he says is hard to believe because of what is happening, which is nothing. God assures me I will have a daughter. I even feel like he's assured me she will be Guatemalan. But Guatemala isn't cooperating with God right now. So the reality and truth APPEAR to be that it won't happen. BUT, what I want to live by and what I want to trust in is GOD'S REALITY and GOD'S TRUTH, which is a challenge for my human flesh. I need an increase of faith, a faith that is bigger than my human mind can comprehend. A faith that believes in and dwells on what it cannot see.

As I contemplated this last night and prayed about this situation (as it seems some decisions might be made soon), I felt called to pray and fast. And for some reason I felt led to do it for 3 days. Jesus spent 3 days in the tomb, Jonah spent 3 days in the belly of a great fish, so I guess I'm going to spend 3 days in a tomb/belly of sorts. My expectation is that my perspective will have changed once I get urped on the shore. My hope is that there is resurrection life following it. I'm expecting God to do something supernatural in the natural and change everything.

But what if he doesn't? He asked me this last night. I had been at prayer group at church and during that time of prayer told God I would run, crawl, claw my way to be deeper in him. So when I came home and read an email that information would be coming later this week from Guatemala, he asked me, "what if it doesn't happen?"

Here's all I have to say: Whether God ever does one good thing for me ever again or not, I will still crawl, claw, bite, fight, run, wrestle my way to his presence. AND I WILL PRAISE HIM, for he is the God who loved me when there was no reason to, never left me even when I was rebelling, took my trash and gave me treasure, took my pain and gave me healing, took my shame and gave me an inheritance, took my life and gave me eternity. It's so much more than I deserve to be given, and contains none of what I truly did deserve.

So here I go, down the gullet of the fish, into the belly, the tomb, to face whatever he brings before me and to come out of it changed. And in his extravagant goodness I'm hoping that not just will I be changed, but so will my circumstances. Either way, I love him.

Cabin Fever

If there were a prize for who blogs first about an event, my friend Arin would have won. She beat me to the blog to post about our cabin-out at Potato Creek last weekend. It's not a camp out, because we stayed with their family in one of the Potato Creek cabins. I won't say why we choose a cabin this year instead of tent camping. I wouldn't want to make anyone feel whimpy. Especially since that anyone came with a broken/sprained foot ankle problem, and went on hikes and bike rides with his family, which is the exact opposite of whimpy. So I won't even mention Danny. I mean...

I digress. Let me start over. This was our third trip to Potato Creek with a wonderful family that in our home is referred to as the STEVE HOLTS! This is an Arrested Development reference that I don't think they get, but Ryan and I enjoy it all the same. I love being with the Steve Holts, because they are so laid back about what we do while we're there. I never worry that they'll be offended if we go or don't go with them somewhere, they share whatever they have (as do we), they help us with our kids - it's just a great set-up. I also could sit and talk to Arin for hours. And I think I did. If I wasn't talking to Arin, I was EATING. I don't know what the deal was, but for some reason having a full kitchen in our cabin meant we should eat non-stop. And not just eat, eat JUNK. We did eat good food while there (Chicken Fajitas, hello!), but when there are twinkies, star crunch, and mountain dew in the same room, that is indulgence.

It was a great weekend that made me thankful for my great family, for great Christian friends, for the beauty of God's creation, and for time away. Thanks for the memories, Steve Holts, the Michael Morehouses love you!

Here's a couple pictures of us hanging out in the cabin:


Here's a picture of all the kids:

One Dozen

For 12 years I've had the privilege and pleasure of being married to Ryan. I never knew marriage could be such an incredible blessing! Ryan is a person who feeds my soul, and I get to be with him not just now, but forever. I'm so grateful for his stability, his adaptability, his compassion, his humor, and his giving heart. Ryan, I'm filled with deep joy, passion, and unconditional love for you.

First Day of Preschool

Today wasn't just Michael's special day, it was a special day for Max. Today was his first day of preschool at Bright Horizons. He looked super cute and was super sweet as we dropped him off and picked him up. He was tired, but he had a good time. He seemed surprised when I said he was going back tomorrow - but I think it was an excited surprised. We're so proud of him, and we all enjoy him so much! It's fun to see him off on new adventures.

Michael's Big Day

Today was Michael's big day! I can't believe he's seven. Last night we watched a video of when he was a baby, and it seems like a million years ago! He's so special to us and I'm so thankful for him! We had a party for him last Saturday, which included a trip to the Hesston Train Museum with Ryan, Grandpa Morehouse, Max, and 2 of Michael's friends. Here are the four boys on one of the little steamers:

Here they are in a caboose:

When we went to pick out decorations for Michael's party, we saw decorations for patriotic parties. Michael loves the Statue of Liberty, and Washington Monument, as well as other architecture. So, we decided to have an American birthday party, and it was perfect for him! Here he is with his cake, and the poster of the Capital building behind him.

And here are all the kids in front of the Statue of Liberty poster:

Happy Birthday, my sweet boy! I love you!

Life

I'm officially 36 years old! Funny, but it doesn't feel much different than 35. But, I am now on that downward spiral to 40. But I'm okay with that.

I had a great day. It began with the kids waking me up with presents - bubble bath, a candle, and a book light. They also brought the gift Ryan bought me, which was an MP3 player. Very fun! Then I headed to church and enjoyed a great time of prayer and worship, as well as a good message, and a Will Ferrell cowbell playing impersonation by our pastor. Classic! Then I headed to lunch with my family, Mom Deak, and Ed (aka Debbie). We enjoyed a great lunch at Logan's. I was able to have a great talk with Debbie, and then I enjoyed playing with my new MP3 player. I liked just playing around, chatting online with Jenny Harville, reading all the birthday wishes on Facebook, and being with my family. After I finish this I'm going to work on my scrapbooks for a while.

I took this timer shot of me and my family, because they are such an important part of why my life is so great. God has used them to be such a source of joy to me. I'm so grateful for each one of them. Above all this day, however, I'm so grateful to my God. He's been so good and so gracious. I praise him today for every good thing he's ever given me, and for every good thing he wants to give me from now on until eternity. What a privilege to be his child, his servant, and his friend. Thank you, Lord, for life - this one and the one to come!

Good Stuff

Here is the picture from the first day of school that I wanted to post last time. When I was trying to retrieve it from the camera, the computer couldn't detect the camera. When Ryan tried, it was all right there. You gotta love it.

So here are my beautiful, creative, sweet, fun, spiritually-sensitive children. I absolutely love them. Who am I that God would be so good?

I've been amazed lately by the goodness of God. I can't believe how often He chooses to be extravagant with us. For example, Monday night Ryan and I were praying about the soccer schedule. All three kids had practice on different nights, which just felt like a lot. I had called during the day Monday to see if it was possible to switch someone, but the person I needed to speak to wasn't in that day. So, we prayed about it, and told God that we wanted the kids to have the team and the coaches that HE wanted them to have, and if that meant 3 different nights, then we would do it. So, I just left it as it was, I didn't try to call again. But right before leaving for Max's practice, the lady called me and said that she could switch Madison to practice at the same time as Michael. I asked who the coach was, and she told me his name. He is one of the coaches Madison had last year, and we LOVED those coaches. God worked it all out, not just for the better, but for the BEST. That is good stuff!

Recently, I said to God, "You've been so good already, how can you keep wanting to do more?" God said to me, "Do you get tired of doing good things for your children?" Of course NOT! Like I would say to Michael, "Well, seven years seems like long enough to do good for you, I hope the rest of your life works out." NO WAY! I will do as much good, give my best to them, as long as I am able. I'm so humbled to think that God views me the same way. HE IS SO AMAZING, so merciful, so kind, and so, so, so very good to me. And I love Him!

Random Thoughts Vol. 15

Where does the time go? It seems like just last week summer had started, now it's winding up. We started school yesterday, and I would love to post the picture of the kids that I took, but for some reason the computer can't detect the camera. I can't believe that we have a 4th grader and a 2nd grader. Plus, starting next week we'll have a preschooler. It seems unbelievable to me.

This week soccer starts and all three kids will be playing. It's going to be a busy 6 weeks, but I'm glad that they get to play, especially Max since it's his first year.

Speaking of Max, I took him last week to get a physical for preschool and they tested his hearing. Two and a half years ago I sat in a room and watched him miss all but the loudest frequency of sounds due to the amount of fluid in his ears due to infection. The fluid dissipated without tubes, but it took about 6 months. Last week, the nurse said he heard every sound at every level, and most kids his age do not. I said, "that's all GOD!" which it is. How extravagant of our Lord to restore Max's hearing completely, not just make it so he didn't need tubes, which is all I asked from him. God is soooooo good!

We're gearing up for lots of celebrating here at our house. My birthday is Sunday, Michael's is next Tuesday, and then our wedding anniversary is the 7th. We are so blessed and have so much for which to be thankful. On Saturday we will have a birthday party for Michael. Everything about it will be so Michael, which I love. I love that he is a unique individual! I'll be sure to post all about the party and about Michael!

What Made Me Laugh Today

Okay, I'm posting this because I was CRACKING UP watching it. Some of you allergy sufferers might actually be inspired by this woman.

Love It

Thanks to Ryan for telling me about this. Ridiculous!

Funny Stuff

One of the many pieces of knowledge I gained from my weekend with the Jennys was the existence of the Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins. Apparently, I'm behind the times in regards to this. Anyway, I've enjoyed watching videos on Youtube and his website. Here are 2 of his song parodies, the first one being my favorite since it's about homeschooling (we are homeschoolers with a healthy sense of humor, just like Tim Hawkins himself). The second is a great take on a Carrie Underwood hit. My favorite part of the second one is the guy in the background. In the first video, Hawkins and his wife play the parents, and in the second one, Hawkins is the lead singer. Thanks to the Jennys for educating me, and I hope you enjoy a good laugh.

Fabulous Friends

This weekend was another great friend weekend for me, this time with my high school friends, Cheri and Debbie. On Friday, Debbie and I drove to Carmel, picked up Cheri and headed into Indy to go to the Women of Faith conference. We had just a fun and relaxing time together, and I'm so glad we went. Cheri allowed us to stay at her house, which saved us paying for a hotel. Her husband took their son and went to visit family - should we take this personally? Just kidding! I loved being with the two of them and praising Jesus with them. That was a first for the 3 of us, and it was celebrated by us all. The picture is at Conseco Field House, and we asked some other woman to take it with Cheri's cell phone. Thanks for the great weekend, girls! I love you!

Weekend With Jennys

This past weekend two of my wonderful college friends came to my house to visit. Jenny and Jenny were juniors who tolerated me as a freshman. It had been about 5 years since I had seen Potts, and 14 years since I'd seen Harv. But I have to say, the weekend felt like college was just yesterday. That's what happens when you have friendships based on Jesus - they are eternal! I laughed so much this weekend, plus just had some wonderful conversations, as well as a beautiful time of prayer. Thanks so much for coming, Jennys! I love you both!

Madison and Michael took these pictures for us! I cropped Madison's, but I left Michael's as it was because it brought a smile to my face.

Random Thoughts Vol. 14

Welcome again to Random Thoughts. The summer has been busy and is flying by, so there is plenty of random floating around.

Last weekend was our neighborhood garage sale. I have a love/hate relationship with the garage sale. I love getting stuff cleaned out of my house, love getting money for the junk I wanted out of my house, but I hate all the work. It went well, and I'm glad it's over. As a result of the garage sale, we did a lot of cleaning and sorting in the basement, a good by-product of the sale.

Sunday afternoon Ryan and I left and went to Indy by ourselves for a couple of days. Ryan's parents kept the kids for us. We had a great time eating at restaurants we normally wouldn't go to, visiting art museums, and seeing The Dark Knight. I love that Ryan is still the friend I love to be with more than anyone. Here's a view from the canal that we walked along:

We also got a good look at the outside of the new Colts stadium:

And here's a cool stained glass window at the Indianapolis Musuem of Art (which has free admission, by the way):

As wild and fun as last weekend was (garage sale, Celtic dancing, Indy trip), this weekend could top it. Two of my college friends, Jenny & Jenny (yes they have the same name and it's making it very hard on Ryan), are coming to my house to visit. I haven't seen the one Jenny for about 5 - 6 years, and I can't remember the last time I saw the other Jenny. It's been at least since I graduated from college, which was 14 years ago. They haven't seen each other for a couple of years either, so it will be quite the reunion. And, we owe it all to Facebook! So, tune in next week for a synopsis of the weekend of the Jennys! It should be a hoot!

My final random thought is a quote I found when cleaning out the basement bookshelves. It's from a woman named Judith C. Lechman.

When we throw ourselves into religious activities without having made our life one of prayer, we run into danger. Our days and nights are filled with teaching or printing a newsletter, working in an outreach program or a food bank, an inner-city rehabilitation project or on lobbying efforts. We feel we are doing the Lord's work, and perhaps we are. But we will never know unless we take the time to listen to his voice and be certain we are following his promptings and not ambitious ones that start in self. We must always ask ourselves whether we are working to please God or to satisfy our own need for achieving results.

Merriment

A lovely couple from our church got married last month in a small ceremony, and tonight was the big reception for all their friends and family. It was very fun! On the invitation it said it would be a night of Celtic music and MERRIMENT. Who can say no to that? They asked Ryan and I to join a group of people who were learning some Celtic dances ahead of time in order to be able to demonstrate them at the reception. To my surprise, Ryan agreed. We had a ball learning the dances, and a great time doing them tonight. It was a once in a lifetime experience, and I'm so thankful and honored to have been a part of it all.